Grow Up.

Well, because I study a lot, I have learned something new. This is in sociology, which I am starting to LOVE, ages 13-19 are your adolescent years. And most people believe themselves younger than what they really are. The last two sentences are facts that I was studying for a test on Thursday. I read the part where it said we think of ourselves younger... and I realized that was so me. I don't ever feel like I should be in college, allowed to drive myself around, or be responsible for making my own meals. And then there is a birthday that is coming up in 30 days. And I love birthdays, I make everyone my personal slave (for about a week) and LOVE the day. But this year I seem to be going through, which can only be defined as, a "late adolescence" crisis.

Last year my argument was, 18 yr. olds shouldn't be allowed to make a decision as big as where they want to live and what they want to do with the rest of their lives. I mean, wow, hello trust?

This year, I argue with myself a lot. I get every frustrated day to day for not knowing what I want to study. I honestly don't have a clue. I thought one major was my path, but really?, I think that's just to say I have something. I don't know what I want to do.

One friend told me awhile ago to grow-up. It was meant in a joking way, but I hadn't ever heard that before. I have always been pretty mature, and when I am not... I always know. But the phrase "grow up", it just seemed a little too harsh and blunt that it made me think.

So I am a year away from young adulthood, the part of your life where you are suppose to "start your career, get a job, and start a family." In my class we learn that if you don't have a firm grasp in young adulthood, you will struggle the rest of your life.

Suddenly, I feel like all the lessons are about my own life. So in a year, I need a job, major and family. Yep... seems like a GREAT time for a "late adolescence" crisis.

Post from Ashli: Mormon Bases

My roommate Ashli Teeples posted this blog and I asked if I could re-post it here (but she also requested I add a Works Cited). I love going on to her blog because she states everything the way it is. Visit as aSHLi's wOrLd spins to get to know my awesome roommate and friend.

For reasons I am not at liberty to discuss.... Brittany and I were on the topic of "mormon dating." We decided that it was necessary to make a MORMON version of "the bases." So here it is. After much debating, collaborating and hard work we have done it. We have the Mormon Bases. I know It is difficult to read but just click on the baseball field above and it will allll make sense. Enjoy! :)

that girl.

I am that girl who can't sleep without my frog.

I am that girl that will do all those embarrassing things on camera, and not think about the consequences until later.

I am that girl who can be so frustrated with my family, and will attack the person who says anything about them.

I am that girl who would drive for hours just to see her best friend for an hour.

I am that girl who still screams in the scary movies.

I am that girl who will blush at about anything.

I am that girl that doesn't really see the point to wearing make-up everyday.

I am that girl who laughs so hard that my stomach hurts for days.

I am that girl who, if timed right, can have anything come out of her nose.

I am that girl who cries when my loved ones cries.

I am that girl who knows families are forever.

I am that girl who would rather sleep all day because 

dreams are amazing.

I am that girl who gets attached and can be too intense.

I am that girl who screams and ducks from the ball in a soccer game.

I am that girl who loves a lot.

I am that girl that realizes that the perfect moment is all the small imperfect ones added up.

I am that girl who can laugh at herself. 

I am that girl who gets mad and turns red.

I am that girl who gives awkward side hugs at the door.

I am that girl who will laugh about a joke 2 minutes after-the-fact. 

I am that girl who will laugh when there is nothing else to do.

I am that girl who goes along with wild ideas, just to support the people.

I am that girl who will argue the opposite just for the sake of arguing. 

I am that girl who only has green beans and oatmeal in the cupboard.

I am that girl that can't ever make a decision.

I am that girl who wakes up at midnight wanting to take a walk.

I am that girl who will clean until I die if there is bug nearby.

I am that girl who tells her mom everything.

I am that girl that gets nose freezes, not brain freezes.

I am that girl whose mom made her a friend in 7Th grade.

I am that girl that laughs to hard and gets hiccups. 

I am that girl that still gets excited for birthdays.

I am that girl who spends hours picking out the right celebration card.

I am that girl that still leaves a note out for Santa.

I am that girl who has the best dad in the world.

I am just that girl.

(post inspired by my beautiful friends and the boy that said I wasn't normal)

Currently.

I am hiding out in the institute building using the internet. Why you ask? I think Aubrey might have MONO, or she thinks she having a relapse. So, therefore I am not going home until I have to... It has always been my fear to catch this disease. And I blame Michael Schroeder for that. I once told him of this fear and he laughed at me and told me what would happen if I had mono. Now, not only am I terrified to get it, I also start thinking I randomly have the symptoms. Its a difficult thing to deal with, the not having mono. Its kinda like when you don't have the chicken pox. And everyone around you has had already. So, they don't really care. But you are pure, uninfected and scared to get it. So, that my "rambling" for the day. Apparently, according to some people, or just one person I tell really bad stories. Aub's I hope you get well soon!

update... Ok, so just got home and sprayed Lysol everywhere, and Anywhere Clorox on everything, including my hands. So, we should be safe... I SHOULD BE SAFE. Apparently I am  the only one in this world that hasn't gotten the "KISSING DISEASE"! And should I really be punished for that? I think not!

update.

Homecoming Weekend:
Was really fun Friday Ash and I went to Casa's for MEXICAN food. YUMMMY! Then worked at the dance, at the entrance with Jenny and Ashli. It was really fun, more fun than the dance. Before we started Jenny said we had to be really tough on people that didn't have their ID. The very first person did not have their ID, I said they had to pay... I was being VERY strict. But Jenny was like "Ok, you can go in.." HA! Traitor! But it was fun to talk with these girls, and really, the party came outside to us! ;)

Then, that night (Dance got over 12) we went to Rendnolds to go camping! Ashli packed in like 2 seconds. I am like the slowest girl ever. So we followed Owen, David and Jay out there. Then had to drop the car off and loaded up with the boys to go the little bit farther to the fire. Then we were there! It was a lot of fun. Weird that it was all of Pamella's old friends. We would meet and then somehow Pamella would come up and suddenly I was "Pam's little sister" all over again. That is my title. humm, so the fire was really warm and fun. We left around 4 am. Not camping... so came home and saw our room.... IT WAS SO DIRTY! And It was way depressing to have to clean it all up! Well, more like move it around so it was more easily to walk. LOL. Then..

Saturday:
Well. 2pm was the Fall Sing (a very fun EA performance that me and Ashli planned on attending) but wait... we didn't get up until 3PM! Yes, that is right, we slept for 11 hours, Its insane. But then I was suppose to be at the football field at 4:15 for the game.... yeah. that DIDN'T happen. Its was probably around 6:45 that Ash, Izzy and I made it down to the football field. 13 minutes lasted about 30 minutes. Football games are so deceiving like that. But half time was really funny. So then we left to get food at Jill's. (Its a Mexican name that I can't say or remember, So I call it "Jill's"). And came back to the apartment to eat! Yumm yumm. Actually it was really gross, but we ate it anyways and all kinda got sick. Then Ash and I went to Wally World to get some items. (mostly for candy so I can send my packages to Chandler and Logan). So I came home and made there packages. And had a lot of left over candy. So I ate a lot of it... like A LOT OF IT! And had a burst of energy. So Izzy, Ash and I took a walk around campus and down to the baseball fields to look at stars. But the sprinklers were on and it was soo cold. And plus there was huge Geese somewhere that was going to EAT me! And the other two just laughed, but I have seen Cloverfield, I know what can happen. So we somehow made it home. Went to bed around 2-3ish that night.

Sunday:
Then Sunday, glorious Sundays, woke up just in time to get ready and go to church. Finally come home around 4 and made MAC&CHEESE! Something we haven't eaten in a long time. And I stepped outside for just a few seconds and when I came back in, my roommates where eating MARSHMELLOWS! HAHA, it was soo funny. They make me laugh soo much. I love all their crazy ideas. Then, I was in a bit of a "pity me mood", so I went into my room and closed the door and started Swan Princess and started eating CANDY again.... I may have eaten to much. But I didn't think I was being so loud and I started singing along with the movie. Well I forgot how ANNOYING my roommates are and the power of a camera.... So they video taped my performance... Its on my roomies Ashli's blog, click HERE to see it. The best part of it is hearing Ashli laugh in the back round. I think she has the FUNNIEST laugh. Anyways... then it was a fireside, and no Internet. It was such a boring night without the Internet. So I just stared at Ashli while she did her homework. It was really a interesting day... BAHAHA

I love my roommates so much... they are so funny. Me and Ashli Laughed so much this weekend! It was really funny.

SCHOOL!

So today I really had a minor freak out, where I went a little crazy and signed up for every class I could next semester. I only have 3 semesters left. And I need A's in every class. And you know, its a little stressful sometimes. And looking at the schools I am going to transfer too, that's extremely worrisome. I am trying to complete all those credits at EA along with my EA credits, and I got maybe, slightly a little crazy. Ashli just kept laughing at me, my mom told me I had a better plan than most. But it feels like I am going to be in school for forever. And I want to hurry up an get it done. Well, to show you how freaked out I was, I planned spring, summer I and II, and fall of 2009. Yeah, most people aren't that insane. There is just SO MANY things you can choose. How do you only choose one? I am feeling very over whelmed. Worrying makes you very tired. And so now I stopped looking at all the colleges websites, and just going to rest on the whole major/career choice for right now. I want to hurry up and get school over with, at least the boring part. I love EA, its fun and there is always something to do here. But I am here for school. I have 2 years to get as much knowledge as possible before I move somewhere else. That concept is frightening. 2 years to do as much as you can. OK, taking deep breaths and realizing how this doesn't need to be solved all in one day in a few hours. School, people have no idea how hard it is to PICK! or at least for me it is... but I am starting to get an idea of what I want to-do. That's something productive that came out of today. I do have a bit of direction....

Quote!

"You can gain more friends in 3 months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in 2 year by trying to get others interested in you."
-Dale Canige

create.

for the 4 that read this....

i decided i need a blog where i can just write to you guys. because there are so many things i would write, but seeing how its just something you would tell a best friend and no one else, i don't write them on this blog. so i end up emailing one of you ALL the time and texting another one. then we all get together i have to tell everyone again. so here.. i made a special one just to talk to you 4.
you'll like the name.... click HERE to get to it.

people.

I am not being descriptive.

friday:
- sat in my car on the side of the road just outside Globe for 2 hours
- missed family pictures.
- made a bomb shirt for Gabe.
- when to homecoming.
- Alyssa
- Gabe homecoming king
- saw Michael and Eagle Eye
- then I got to see my family.

saturday:
- worked hard.
- really hard.
- all day hard.

sunday:
- woke up early.
- cleaned.
- got ready.
- farewell
- saw FAMILY
- back to the house.
- ran around doing errands
- talked with people
- took family pictures
- lost my phone
- nose bleed
- went to my hiding place
- talked to a friend, a good friend
- snuck out to see a friend
- got sick

monday:
- sick
- ill
- breakfast
- rescheduled my midterm
- nose bleed
- got ready to leave
- lunch
- goodbyes
- left
- came back
- left again
- FHE
- Pyschology

I would totally go into detail. But I am going to study. I should study. Studying is good.
a special picture post will be coming.

ambiguous.

can we please just go back to the basics?


i just have nothing to write at this moment.


honesty is the best policy.

Blunt.

I am trying it.

literally.

I know this is a week late.

This weekend Turbo and I took a little 2 hour trip to Tucson to visit Pamella. She is babysitting the Thorne babies. But if you saw these kids, they don't look like babies. Dallas is 3 and tells you "what-ever" in reply to anything he doesn't agree with. And Dylan is 5 months. He smiles when you say his name or just look at him. The happiest boy. While these boys look very big, they are so sweet and fun to play with. Dallas calls me, Burk-key. It is fun to see Pamella too. She is in her element with these kids. I really am a bad helper for her, but she said that's ok cause she really doesn't need help. That's a REALLY good thing, I observe more than act. :].
One night she made Sprinkle Cupcakes. I hear they are suppose to be the best. Well, they tasted like coffee and I really didn't care for them. Pamella made a minor error in making the treats and it resulted in us eating them with a fork (yes I still ate them even though they resembled dirt). So I wasn't aloud to take pictures, but it was funny. She spent all night making these. At night, I was sitting on the couch with Dallas next to me watching Piglets Big Movie, and he snuggled with me, it was cute. The highlight of my weekend I think. Basically they are the cutest happiest boys.

process.

A very short time ago (extremely short), I decided if I had nothing nice to say, I simply wouldn't say it. Not to make it sound like I am constantly bad mouthing people, but I get caught up in the little whispers and gossip as all 18 year old Brittany Black's do. So, this is good. It actually gives me a reason NOT to repeat or voice some thoughts, and I am so very glad for that. But I just wish I wouldn't have thoughts that made it so tempting.
I realize in writing this I sound like a very evil devilish girl. But everyone has this problem, its very more noticeable with the female sex. And while I am put in situations where I have to be kind, even though people are on my last nerves, I find it comforting that maybe I am not the only going through this. These past few months have presented themselves full of change, and I believe I have handled most of it very maturely. But, its the little things now that get me.
I know some will read this and think this simple action is not very difficult. Well, isn't it? When someone crosses you, who do you tell? There are quite a few people I tell. And I tell them because I consider them to be my closest friends, but should a "friend" really just be the person you gossip too? Because it is called gossip. (Gossip is when you repeat or say something for or about anyone besides you.)
This small simple phrase "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" poses a much harder task than I thought. Not saying can be done with a little self control, but not thinking it is where I find my fault. I am always lacking the patience that make moms, and teachers and leaders so amazing. They see who you are and just love that. Why can't I show the same courteous?
One my Favorite quotes is "Find out who you are and do it on purpose" by Dolly Parton.
Isn't that just great? Do it on purpose. I want that, but I want to be accepted too. Everyone feels this way, so why don't we just automatically do it?
I have rambled long enough.
Just thought I would write it down, sometimes it helps, I just feel more discouraged now than ever.
Could this possibly be one of those life lessons?

seriously?

maybe meigen will understand the title.
i really want to go to the "secret sweet spot that alyssa found"
or in translation, the spot.
i am in a very ponderous mood.
(is ponderous a word?)
its a good thing i am not around people, i would spill everything right now.
i did eat a butterfinger today, maybe....
"I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today "
my life is a never ending metaphor.
not really, i just like the way that sounds.
what did you do today? good question...
i didn't unpack.
i didn't fix my paper.
i didn't do anything i needed.
but i did think.
alot.
"You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear "
josh radin understands,
why is it so hard for everyone else.
Alyssa.
i think i am writing to you again.
i think i am missing my person.
who is your person?
everyone has people now.
people makes it to many.
you end up telling everyone the same thing.
my person: i am not going to see for awhile.
how often do you tell your person they are your person.
and you can't just declare that this is your person.
it happens, and you can't make anyone else your person after you have one.
and when am i going to stop sounding so naive.
i want to argue so much right now.
argue for the sake of arguing.
not helping with the idea of "perfect love"?
i totally contradict myself.
"Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too "

for those that have read this far. sorry you just wasting your time reading my nothingness. i think no one will understand. ;). i just like the way one sentence, with a few minor insignificant words, can change the readers thoughts, and add so much more than ever thought possible.

wooh.

Tonight I went through all my letters I have had sent to me since school started. I have such amazing family and friends. I think people forget how lucky they are sometimes, and just get caught up in the day to day troubles. I miss my Chloe and Sophie so much. I haven't danced with that girl in such a LONG time!!! I am coming home in a week for Pamella's farewell. Some people at school laugh at me because every other weekend so far I have come home, but I just miss my family so much. I really don't understand how people here can be away for so long. It's really insane.

I am learning so many things here. Taking Psychology and Sociology at the same time makes me question everything. In Psy you learn that most everyone has at least one disorder, and Soc teaches you that there are so many problems in the world, its amazing we can co-exsist.

English, I handed in a three page typed paper, and got it back with more red ink on the pages than black. Insane how my hard work can be torn apart in seconds.

Math, I should really attend more often.

My institute classes I love. I love love love them.

My blog is turning into my journal. Whatev. I think only Jesser reads it, or sometimes Taylor. Maybe Sarah. Occasionally Grandparents. My mom and dad... I call them and remind them to check it. Michael just looks for his name. And Pamella makes me work on hers. So, for those that are reading this, I love and miss you all! Can't wait to see you next weekend!!!

fooood.

never again.
never
never
never again.
ugh I am just basking in my fullness.
never
never
never again.
so sick.

recap:
Ashli and I have been DYING for R&R Pizza. So tonight, after working in the game room for two LONG hours, Ash and I finally went. And its "go big or go home", so we went big. We got an X-large pizza (half pepperoni, half pineapple) then came home. We were once again by ourselves, our other roommates are always working. So turned on Bewitched (the movie) and ate pizza. We were so sick half way through our halves. But we kept going. Long story short, we finished the pizza, MAJOR stomach aches, Ashli threw up (HA HA HA I know its really gross, but she explained it in detail and that was funny.)

Now its like 1AM and I still feel sick. Never again.

I had pictures to put up, but I can't move to do so.

ouch!

I have two bruises from just today, and its only 3 o'clock. The first is when I rammed my knee into the door frame of the bathroom. How did I do that? The second is from Owen. Actually I should have a few from him. Today I learned how "abusive" this boy is. But it was a good lesson. For example, from now on I won't listen to hear the end of this sentence.. "Hey Brittany, does this hurt?" IT ALWAYS HURT! That happened like 3 times in a row. Then I caught on. Owen is ginormous and I happen to be like half of him, and he totally takes advantage of that fact.
But I also fell off my little tiny fat heel shoe in the middle of the street. Embarrassing. Then straight up ran into a bush. I don't know how I do these things.
I also think my hands stopped developing with the rest of my body. I can't EVER win at the stupid thumb war game. Owen knocks my hand down without even trying.

More.

Ever have something great? Then have to leave? Well that's how my entire weekend went.
Friday:
I worked until 7, then... ate TACO BELL! (ymmm) and talked to MEIGER forever! (pssss, she is coming to EA!) Watched a bit of 27 Dresses. Talked with Alyssa Rommy for a while. Then heard a song that Jesser sent. Basically our lives. Then Owen TIME!
So Owen came over to watch a movie. I personally thought we were going to the stars, but whatev. Then somehow he got my laptop and for an hour we watched truck burn outs. That was exciting. (haha, I don't know why/how I do somethings). Then we watched Mission Impossible III. Which is an extremely violent movie. We got like half way through. Both falling asleep and decided to call it a night.
Saturday:
Woke up at 5:30 to go to the March of Dimes walk and make a balloon arch. Got some hot chocolate which really burned my tongue. Then came home threw my dirty clothes in the car and came home. I made perfect time and was home by 10. Finished watching conference with my family. And we started WORKING ON THE HOUSE! My favorite thing. I love when we do dramatic things. Like, this time, we took the gate off, tore out two bushes, took off the gutters, and put in new sprinklers. My dad complains that we (my Mom, Pam, and I) watch HG TV to much and think that we can do a 3 month project in 3 hours. But we always pull it off. So did that all day.... then took some naps.... and when I woke up everyone was gone besides my mother. Jesser was in town this weekend, so we (jesser, rachel, taylor, and I) went and ate at Chili's. Then went to the sweetest place in Glendale. I am not going to disclose the location because, you will want to go there too. But we all just talked. Its amazing how different our surroundings are, yet we ALL have the same concerns. I just love these girls. After Tay went home and Rachel, Alyssa and I did something I am not ALLOWED to talk about, or put pictures up. I can write that during our travels we went to WalMart. And it might be because the hour was so late, but I found the FUNNIEST sound card. I could have stayed there forever. But we had to leave, and thats all I can say. So, that is sad, but what I can tell you is it was REALLY funny and I wish I could have video taped Rachel.
Sunday:
Woke up to conference. Great timing. Then worked on the house a bit more. Pamella is so funny just to watch. Some like to "people watch", I like to "Pamella watch". I don't know how she did it, but every ten minutes somehow she almost died or was covered in dirt. It was extremely entertaining. And basically that was my Sunday. I stayed the night because me and my father are having breakfast on Monday morning. So that night I needed to go to bed early, I have forgotten what early is. Wrote my paper. Which is really ironic, because I am always the anti-marriage girl.
Monday:
Woke up at 3 AM! Left by 4. Ate at 4:45. On the road to Thatcher by 5. Sleep driving... It reminds me of the movie, I think its called "Summer School" or something. Like an 80's movie. But the one part these two boys are arguing with their teacher "The reason why drunk drivers are so bad, is because they don't learn to drive drunk" HA HA! Well I am a good sleep driver. No, I wasn't really sleeping, but I was tired. Almost to Pima I realize Ashli is driving behind me. So we arrive home at the same time. Don't say a word and crawl into bed to sleep! Awww, I love sleep. Unfortnately, my english class (the one I HAD to back for) starts at 10, I woke up at 9:56. So close to missing it!!!

THE WEEKEND WAS SO FUN! NEXT TIME I WILL TRY SLEEPING MORE!