Marry Me

I remember how consumed I was with my wedding. I mean it was all I talked about! We are just about on our 10 month mark and it seems like forever ago. I do realize that most of the pictures taken I haven't ever shown anyone, so here are some of my favorites. 
[The layout is driving me nuts, but I am dealing with it]

   

 

        

    

 

[Actually this is more for me. It was the happiest day, the best party and sweet sweet memories.]

I Have My Heroes on Speed Dial

I have wonderful parents. They told me all the time how much I was worth and I could be anything. They tell me "I love you" every time we end a conversation. They hug and kiss me. They made rules. They let us have as much family time as we could for the short time we were all at home together. They taught me. And they were determined to have a house full of love. They knew it matter.

I hope that your family knows you love them. And you hug and kiss them. Because it matters. Even if you are late and they take that extra five seconds for a hug and kiss, I think it matters.

I think about when I have kids, and how wonderful it will be to wrap them up in my arms and kiss them from head to toe. I can't imagine loving anyone more than this little one in me. And, as my parents taught me, I will share that with them every second I can. Because it matters.

Be the person that says I love you. It does matter.

15 Weeks.

 I am not posting a picture because I am in a constant panic of:

"going to throw up, maybe I should walk it off, I need to drink something, eating will help, if I lay down it will pass, I should stand by the bathroom, why are my clothes so tight!, where is the nearest trash can, should I take a nausea pill, I will just breathe slowly"

feeling.

"Let me tell you the trick . . ."

I have heard this line many times. And yes I am not down 30 pounds so I know things can get worst (my doctor is quick to remind me) but I have gone to a friends house and ran straight out side to relive lunch. I have suddenly gotten sick all down my shirt in the car and almost in every room in my house. 

So when people look at me and say I know how never to get sick I want to get sick on them. I just saw the billionth post about how to completely bypass the all-day sickness. If you are the person, like my mother, that never got sick, or had an rare upset stomach during your first months pregnant, awesome. Super happy for you, or at sometime I will be, but right now I hate you.

As for me. I eat before I my eyes are even open. I have food and water by my bed. (My husband LOVES waking up to the CRUNCH CRUNCH noise. He has expressed it several times.) I walk. I drink water. I take vitamins. I have spearmint to smell. I have ginger. I have B6. You name it, I have tried it.

And you would think that you would know your body after a while. Like if you are not feeling well you know if you should head to the bathroom or go and laid down. Well that is also false. I have no clue what is going to happen.

Recently (on my worst day) after spending much one-on-one time with the restroom I was on the floor, leaning my head on the bathtub, careful to keep eye contact with the toilet, I muttered to my husband that there to help me back to bed, "I want to die." (I smile now because at the time I was quite seriously and I was sure death was near anyways) Such a sweet memory for me. I am suppose to forget after, I assure you that day will be ever so present in my mind.

Today I done with the acidy taste and TUMS. I am tired of the nausea pills and how they make me tired. I am tired of people who are over their pregnancy smiling and telling me it will past. Misery loves company and that is what I want. I want someone to tell me how awful it is to make a person. That it is the hardest job and they didn't care much for it. Because if someone said these things to me, I would have to disagree.

I would be able to say while it is a daily uphill challenge that has no end point in sight and throws you different curve balls every day so you have no idea what you are suppose to be preparing for, I am happy to be pregnant. I am enjoying the fact that when I go the doctor's there is another heart beat in me. And my big round tummy is showing.

However this world, or the world I choose to live in, is too happy. So I will take my pills, think a few evil thoughts and wait. 

Married, Moved & Pregnant.

I said I would never do a lot of things. 


Well I moved states away from my family. A 9X12 uhaul and loaded down red truck tugged along with literally everything we owned. The second day we moved, while we were still sleeping on a very deflated air mattress, we found out we were expecting. We had a week of celebration and unpacking.... then like a sick joke the switch flipped. Welcome all day sickness. And heart burn that will not quit.

And then I experienced hormones.

I won't really every say this to my husband, because I know he will bring it up again, but he is a saint. I am mean. I tell him to brush his teeth, stop chewing, why are you breathing so loud, don't talk about that, I DON'T FEEL GOOD, stop asking me what to do and DO IT!
..... like I said, he is an EXTREMELY patient man, I love him so much.

And then I realized I could cry about anything.

Babies, the sight of babies, all bets are off. I am like a loose faucet. When I hear country music. Talking about my mom. Any movie or commercial.

And with all this, I am still the wife.

My husband would live weeks with milk, hot sauce, and some meat. So I do the shopping. I said I would never be that person that opens food in the store. I would never go out in my pj's. I would get dressed every morning. I would wear pants. There comes a moment where you are walking down an aisle and you see something, hear it, smell it or think it and then you are kneeled over gaging/coughing and seriously considering laying on the cool floor next to my basket that you give up. I now try to come with snacks, but I walk in and grab a drink and then start out.

I am not saying my life is impossible. My sister compares me to a dementor.

So here is the thing, I moved for school. I married my best friend. We are over the moon about this little baby.

More to come, I was waiting for this handsome guy to come home. He did.

Goodnight.

22 year old 40 hour a week college girl

I think I am entitled to a catch up post?

About me

If I could choose a shadow, Sophie would have my complete support!

I am home. I work at a bank, and love it! I get stressed, I go out with my co-workers, I complain about the job, I do things well, I make "work" jokes and then come home and talk about the life of a 22 year old 40 hour a week college girl. I am finishing up school online (still at BYUI) and keeping my parents busy. I am in love with it all.

Hobbies

My 3 best friends have all moved home too... so we are once again minutes apart. Over the summer Chloe, Sophie and I had weekly day dates. I can't stand that they are getting older. I love though that they still fight over me sleeping with them. My boyfriend, I love him. And even though the hour drive between us is a drag, the feeling I get when he runs out to my car to greet me makes it a little better.

Chloe works my computer better than me... resulting in self portraits. [adorb's]

Dreams

I think that if I can't have crazy dreams at 22, when can I? I love elephants. I want to ride on one. I want then to own one (realize that is mostly likely a daydream dream). So I would like to contribute to a foundation for elephants (more sensible). I want to skydive. I want to backpack through somewhere beautiful, and not worry about bug, dirt and the dark for days. And move into a house where I plant a tree and watch it grow to be apart of the house.

Fears

I am terrified of bugs, and anything that crawls (except babies). I am scared of mono and lice. And before I go to bed, I have to turn on my bedside lamp, off my room lights, tuck into bed, and then turn off the lamp. The dark and under the bed is troublesome as well. 

Goals

Hey there good lookin'. ;]

Run a marathon. Graduate with my BA (documented for my mother). Cook a dinner from scratch. Be successful, in whatever I choose to be.

Desire

I want to be the type of person that does more than just lives a comfortable life. I can achieve that. At age 22, I give myself a good 3-4 years till I am settled and happy. I have no doubts in that dream. However, I want to do more. I want to do something that will benefit someone else. I think the concept stays a concept for most people, no one turns it into a plan. I have talked with groups of people, taken hours of classes, and read pages of books all dedicated to one thought: giving back. I could go on for pages about a personalized action plan... however it comes down to one part. I want to do something that isn't just for me or my family. I want my life to make another life better. I have a desire to accomplish this idea, concept, thought.

My very best friends.

Well....

I think I just about covered everything I wanted to talk about. Juggling the family, work, friends and boyfriend is a full time life. My problems are quite wonderful ones to have. :]