Oh baby...

[Today is December 4. Although I will be posting this in a few days, I wanted to get my thoughts all down before the shock leaves me.]

We are having a BOY! 

It was the greatest moment I have ever witnessed. I have been so concerned about all MY feelings, that when I saw him moving and hiding his face I can honestly say I fell in love. I don't know what that moment is like for everyone but it was pure magic from where I was sitting. Up until that moment I was on the fence about this pregnancy thing. It may not be the best I have ever felt, but it is worth every early morning, late night and all the complaints in-between. 

Cody and I counted all the arms, legs, toes, fingers, eyes and couldn't tear our eyes from the screen. She would try to get a look at the face and push on my stomach, he would throw up his tiny fists in protest. We laughed like he was performing a broadway musical. The ultrasound tech is very high on my favorite people list.

He is perfect in every way. And we can not be happier with him. 

Dinner Date

We made dinner tonight together. The first time in a while. It was wonderful. I love being with my husband and I LOVE home cooked meals. Mmmm. 

Just a peak into the prep:

He started using the George Forman for the steak....

 Then after thinking of a grill had a better idea.

 I needed shredded cheese....

This is all we have.

We made it work. I should have taken more pictures, but I was either laughing or eating. :]]

Marry Me

I remember how consumed I was with my wedding. I mean it was all I talked about! We are just about on our 10 month mark and it seems like forever ago. I do realize that most of the pictures taken I haven't ever shown anyone, so here are some of my favorites. 
[The layout is driving me nuts, but I am dealing with it]

   

 

        

    

 

[Actually this is more for me. It was the happiest day, the best party and sweet sweet memories.]

I Have My Heroes on Speed Dial

I have wonderful parents. They told me all the time how much I was worth and I could be anything. They tell me "I love you" every time we end a conversation. They hug and kiss me. They made rules. They let us have as much family time as we could for the short time we were all at home together. They taught me. And they were determined to have a house full of love. They knew it matter.

I hope that your family knows you love them. And you hug and kiss them. Because it matters. Even if you are late and they take that extra five seconds for a hug and kiss, I think it matters.

I think about when I have kids, and how wonderful it will be to wrap them up in my arms and kiss them from head to toe. I can't imagine loving anyone more than this little one in me. And, as my parents taught me, I will share that with them every second I can. Because it matters.

Be the person that says I love you. It does matter.

15 Weeks.

 I am not posting a picture because I am in a constant panic of:

"going to throw up, maybe I should walk it off, I need to drink something, eating will help, if I lay down it will pass, I should stand by the bathroom, why are my clothes so tight!, where is the nearest trash can, should I take a nausea pill, I will just breathe slowly"

feeling.

"Let me tell you the trick . . ."

I have heard this line many times. And yes I am not down 30 pounds so I know things can get worst (my doctor is quick to remind me) but I have gone to a friends house and ran straight out side to relive lunch. I have suddenly gotten sick all down my shirt in the car and almost in every room in my house. 

So when people look at me and say I know how never to get sick I want to get sick on them. I just saw the billionth post about how to completely bypass the all-day sickness. If you are the person, like my mother, that never got sick, or had an rare upset stomach during your first months pregnant, awesome. Super happy for you, or at sometime I will be, but right now I hate you.

As for me. I eat before I my eyes are even open. I have food and water by my bed. (My husband LOVES waking up to the CRUNCH CRUNCH noise. He has expressed it several times.) I walk. I drink water. I take vitamins. I have spearmint to smell. I have ginger. I have B6. You name it, I have tried it.

And you would think that you would know your body after a while. Like if you are not feeling well you know if you should head to the bathroom or go and laid down. Well that is also false. I have no clue what is going to happen.

Recently (on my worst day) after spending much one-on-one time with the restroom I was on the floor, leaning my head on the bathtub, careful to keep eye contact with the toilet, I muttered to my husband that there to help me back to bed, "I want to die." (I smile now because at the time I was quite seriously and I was sure death was near anyways) Such a sweet memory for me. I am suppose to forget after, I assure you that day will be ever so present in my mind.

Today I done with the acidy taste and TUMS. I am tired of the nausea pills and how they make me tired. I am tired of people who are over their pregnancy smiling and telling me it will past. Misery loves company and that is what I want. I want someone to tell me how awful it is to make a person. That it is the hardest job and they didn't care much for it. Because if someone said these things to me, I would have to disagree.

I would be able to say while it is a daily uphill challenge that has no end point in sight and throws you different curve balls every day so you have no idea what you are suppose to be preparing for, I am happy to be pregnant. I am enjoying the fact that when I go the doctor's there is another heart beat in me. And my big round tummy is showing.

However this world, or the world I choose to live in, is too happy. So I will take my pills, think a few evil thoughts and wait. 

Married, Moved & Pregnant.

I said I would never do a lot of things. 


Well I moved states away from my family. A 9X12 uhaul and loaded down red truck tugged along with literally everything we owned. The second day we moved, while we were still sleeping on a very deflated air mattress, we found out we were expecting. We had a week of celebration and unpacking.... then like a sick joke the switch flipped. Welcome all day sickness. And heart burn that will not quit.

And then I experienced hormones.

I won't really every say this to my husband, because I know he will bring it up again, but he is a saint. I am mean. I tell him to brush his teeth, stop chewing, why are you breathing so loud, don't talk about that, I DON'T FEEL GOOD, stop asking me what to do and DO IT!
..... like I said, he is an EXTREMELY patient man, I love him so much.

And then I realized I could cry about anything.

Babies, the sight of babies, all bets are off. I am like a loose faucet. When I hear country music. Talking about my mom. Any movie or commercial.

And with all this, I am still the wife.

My husband would live weeks with milk, hot sauce, and some meat. So I do the shopping. I said I would never be that person that opens food in the store. I would never go out in my pj's. I would get dressed every morning. I would wear pants. There comes a moment where you are walking down an aisle and you see something, hear it, smell it or think it and then you are kneeled over gaging/coughing and seriously considering laying on the cool floor next to my basket that you give up. I now try to come with snacks, but I walk in and grab a drink and then start out.

I am not saying my life is impossible. My sister compares me to a dementor.

So here is the thing, I moved for school. I married my best friend. We are over the moon about this little baby.

More to come, I was waiting for this handsome guy to come home. He did.

Goodnight.